Many, many years ago I had a Livejournal account where I kept a log of my nightly dreams. It was kinda interesting, I think, and I loved going back and rereading them. So I am going to continue that now, here, for my own enjoyment and hopefully your amusement as well.
*Just to head off any questions in advance: yes, all of these dreams are 100% real, undoctored, unembellished, actual dreams I have had. I have a tendency to have very bizarre, vivid, memorable dreams with a higher frequency than most other people. Whether this is a product of my overactive imagination or my weird sleep schedule I have no clue. But everything you read here is real.