It’s been a few months since I thought much about this blog. That’s actually a good thing! I have had a lot going on recently with work and job hunting and gaining some perspective on my life. It’s a fun ( and sometimes stressful) journey. What’s been on my plate lately? Well…
A Healthier Lifestyle
Thanks in no small part to the Weight Watchers program, I have been able to shed 45-ish pounds. That’s no small feat, especially for me. I still have a long way to go, but I am hopeful that I can get there. I need to get there. This is a personal journey, one I am undertaking for me and no one else. I think that makes all the difference. I have had friends in the past who have attempted to lose weight, but they did it for other people or other reasons, and not for themselves. I think that’s where they went wrong, and ultimately why their weight loss journey ended abruptly and without results. Do it for yourself and no one else. That’s my point of view, anyway.
Eating better is hard. No joke. I spent most of my life severely lacking any self control when it came to sweets. I can eat entire cakes in one sitting. I was never taught not to. My childhood was replete with desserts and sweets and rarely ever was I tasked with eating just one serving. I grew up stuffing my face and now I am learning not to. It’s hard. Sometimes I give in. But more often than not, I resist, and it makes me happy.
Exercise is something I was never all that fond of. I hated most sports as a kid, though I played a few when I was little. My hobbies have always been more computer-centric. I like sitting on my butt. I like reading, playing games, writing, doodling and chatting. I dislike running, jogging, and working out. But I am starting to find balance, and that feels good too. Thankfully my job is a bit more physical than most, so simply going to work is helping me lose weight and be more active.
The older I get, the less inclined I am to put up with other people’s crap. I was never very tolerant of bullshit to begin with and I haven’t grown any more patient with age. I am beginning to recognize that certain people in my life may not be as welcome there as I once thought, and that their actions and behavior aren’t as benign as I used to believe.
It’s always hard to come to the realization that an old and once-valued friend needs to go, but I think it’s one of the most important decisions we make in life. Someone who used to bring you happiness now makes you miserable. You get into an unhealthy cycle of pretending to like that person because letting them go would be too uncomfortable, but eventually you realize that by keeping them around you are hurting yourself.
Bad friends have to go. There’s no two ways to it. But when you finally get the nerve to let them go, it’s amazing what can happen. Your life gets better. It sucks for a while but it gets better. And good friends begin to slip back in to fill in those gaps. Sometimes, you don’t realize how awesome some of your friends really are until you have space for them in your life. Funny how that works, right?
I’m not a kid anymore. I wish I was! But I’m not. I’ve done amazing things in my short life: I graduated college, I got a job, I found someone to love forever. But I’m not done achieving and I’m not done moving forward.
These past few months have felt like a stalemate between where I am now and where I want to be in life. I knew where I wanted to be but there were roadblocks (some real and some possibly imagined) that kept me from getting there. Now, things are beginning to fall in to place and I can see the light at the end of the tunnel.
The Boy was accepted to a nursing school – finally! I may have a chance at a promotion at work, which would put me closer to home and raise my pay. We’re only a few years away from packing up and leaving Fresno behind for good, which is exactly what we wanted to be doing. It’s painful to sit here and be patient while I contemplate all the amazing things in store for us down the road, but so long as we are moving forward, I can cope.
What exactly is so exciting in our future? Well, The Boy is going to attend nursing school and graduate with his RN, which he will then take to a university to receive his BSN. Then he will be joining the US Army as a nurse, a decision we made together. It’s something he has always wanted to do and I support him one hundred percent, even though this means changing my career goals a bit. But that’s life. Things change, and we adapt.
I’m excited to find out where we end up. Hawaii? Alaska? Germany? Who knows? It’s all good.
I wish I could pick just one career. I wish I had only one life goal. But I don’t. I have many. Somehow I want to simultaneously become a master chef, a gardener, an author, a lawyer, a doctor, an interior decorator, a marine biologist and a therapist. Is it possible? Maybe. But I’d lose my mind before I ever accomplished everything.
So I should narrow it down. I know I want to write – in fact, I have been writing. Slowly but surely, something is coming together. Maybe someday it will be published and I will be able to live off the proceeds. Maybe it becomes a best-seller. Maybe I get rich. Maybe it flops and no one wants to publish it and I am forced to consider career alternatives.
Maybe, just maybe, I can prune my life into exactly what I want it to be, encompassing elements of all my interests, until I have made a whole out of the parts and a life out of the pieces. Wouldn’t that be nice?
I’ll figure it out somehow.
“Two roads diverged in a wood and I – I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference.” -Robert Frost